Pedophiles don't make things I want.

Pedophiles. I don’t like them. I think child molestation is a heinous act that merits the most severe tortures and punishments. I’m not saying that children should be sheltered from sex. For instance, in the south east a chain of grocery stores, Publix, places plastic covers over the magazines in the checkout isle. Why? Because someone’s child might see some movie star/model’s tits, abs, muscled chest, whatever. We can’t risk having children finding out that people have sex and that they aren’t Immaculate Conception treasures carried down by angels in a giant white sled pulled by storks. But that is another blog, I am getting off track.

Now, in the past I have encountered people who say “oh I don’t care what the artist believes/does; I just like their art/product/stuff.” This isn’t a new concept, in the realm of literary theory, this is based on an idea put forth by Roland Barthes in his essay The Death of the Author. Barthes theorizes that the author should be completely removed from the work that they create. Time of production, authorial intent, authorial meaning, and authorial belief, everything about the author is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what the reader thinks or what meaning the reader derives from the text, Barthes calls this the “Birth of the Reader.”  Literary theory is really dry and complicated but hang in there, I’m going to tie this all together.

I disagree with Barthes to an extent. One of my favorite authors is Clive Barker, who is gay. When I read his work I’m not going, “a GAY dude wrote this, how can I even relate?” It doesn’t ever enter the equation because I don’t care. It doesn’t impact his work at all, he can write a hetero character, a female character, anything, and it isn’t affected by the author’s personal preferences. Lovecraft was racist, doesn’t really bother me either because that wasn’t entirely uncommon in 1930’s New England.

The problem begins when you know someone is a pedophile. Ever seen the film Jeepers Creepers? If you have or haven’t watch this official trailer.

It’s a horror film about a flying demon monster thing that just so happens to also drive a big black rape wagon with a personalized license plate. It has been alive for a long ass time by eating specific parts of teenagers. So in the film, it SMELLS Justin Long and wants to EAT part of him. There are awkward scenes where the demon monster is smelling his face and licking his cheeks. This film is directed by a pedophile. Victor Salva directed Jeepers Creepers and is a convicted child molester. Go Bing it, you can find the information readily available anywhere. Prior to making this film he made another film called Powder. Yes, that Powder. The one where a pale albino (as opposed to tan albinos?) emerges from a cellar and has magic powers. He sees the world differently than everyone else, adults fear and reject him, but the children in the film understand him. He can only relate to young people and/or children and/or molestation bait. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW PEDOPHILES VIEW THE WORLD AND THEMSELVES. It’s only made worse to know the film was distributed by Disney.

On a side note, there is a girl on campus that I saw almost every day last semester who rode a child’s scooter while wearing a panda back pack and a Pikachu hat with multicolored hair poking out. I’m 90% sure she is an FBI agent trolling for pedophiles.

Now that you know Jeepers Creepers was directed by a pedophile, go watch the movie again and prepare to get weirded out. The scene where the Creeper’s lair has naked dead people stitched together all over the ceiling and walls? The scene at the end where a naked Justin Long is strung up by his arms with his eyes eaten out of his head? Fucked up, right?

Here’s another one. I see a lot of people who LOVE Alice in Wonderland. The live action one by Tim Burton, the animated one, the classic novel, makes no difference. Alice in Wonderland shit is EVERYWHERE. I was in Barnes and Noble not long ago browsing books, they have this really bad ass Classics Collection series they have started doing. It’s a leather bound, high quality copy of literary classics. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Jurassic Park/Lost World. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Jane Austen. Dracula. Frankenstein. But I noticed there was also one for Alice in Wonderland, brightly colored and sitting on a table remarkably close to the young adult section and the spot where they were was the one most depleted which means lots of people were buying it with its hot pink cover and crazy designs.

The problem, for me at least, arises from the fact that LEWIS CARROLL WAS A PEDOPHILE. Don’t believe me? Read his Wikipedia page here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_Carroll
Now the thing that is most readily available on that page is controversy. Nearly everything asserted about him are steeped in bitter controversy, primarily due to the fact that family members are fighting to disprove these things. After all who wants to be related to a pedophile? Even without conclusive evidence a few compelling facts remain:

Alice in Wonderland was written for a young girl, named Alice, who Carroll (Dodgson) had an affinity for.

He asked the girl’s family to take pictures of her nude. (This was a common practice at the time… FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS.)

Carroll’s personal diary has missing entries, removed by a person.

Also, here is a picture of Alice Liddell taken BY Carroll (Dodgson).

(Courtesy of wikipedia)

Now, some scholars dispute these claims, but the very fact that there is something to dispute speaks volumes. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Here’s another one, Gary Glitter. Don’t know the name? You probably know this:

It was featured pretty largely in Disney’s The Mighty Ducks, you know, that movie about YOUNG KIDS playing hockey. Glitter was arrested for making child pornography. He also frequented Cambodia and Thailand, two places famous for child prostitution. Kind of ruins the song, doesn’t it?

Jeffrey Jones is famous for his roles in Ferris Bueler’s Day Off, Beetlejuice, Sleepy Hollow and other films.

In 2002 he was arrested for soliciting a 14 year old boy to pose nude for sexually explicit photos.

There are others but this is kind of spiraling into a downer. Ultimately what I am saying is that I don’t want to purchase or consume anything written or created by a pedophile. In my mind the work is tainted.

It’s like tuna, when I buy tuna I make sure the can says “Dolphin Safe” because then I know there’s no dolphin in there. When I buy a book, a movie, an album, or a painting I want to know it is pedophile safe. Oh this book was written by someone who doesn’t rape kids, this is a good purchase and I am happy for my money to go towards supporting this person.

This blog was going to be funny, but I can’t really make this topic amusing. See you guys next week for something lighter.